Dot Dot Dot

I'm pretty sure I am right, most of the time. 

I have been thinking about this recently, and I have come to two conclusions. 
Either everyone in the world thinks this way too, in which case I must be wrong, or I am one of a few people who think this and (as long they all agree with me) we must all be right. 

But the people who shout very loudly about being right seem to be the ones that are most likely to be wrong.

A conundrum. 

I feel strongly about things, and it distresses me when others don't. I don't mind when people think differently from me, as long as they have put some effort into actually thinking. It's when people don't think at all about the issues that fire me up that I assume that they are wrong, neglectful, not participating in society, not making their mark. 

I was listening to the Slow Burn podcast, and discovered Mae Brussell, who was a radio host in the 1970s with a deep passion for a good conspiracy theory (any conspiracy theory). Apparently she read eight newspapers a day. Her motivation for digging so deep into the stories of the day was that she felt a responsibility towards her five children, not to just sit back and let the world wash over her, and accept the perceived wisdoms, and putter along as a backseat passenger. She wanted to know what was going on, especially when she felt she wasn't being told the truth by the People Who Know Stuff. 

I do love a newspaper, but I doubt I could make my way through eight of them a day. Scrolling through Twitter, though. That I can do. And I like to think (in my Always-Rightness) that I only fill my brain with Important Stuff, I only follow Interesting People, I only click on Learned Things (and not bait). I tell myself that I am expanding my horizons and doing my civic duty, widening my knowledge. Of course all I am really doing is reinforcing my own long-held opinions, turning my core beliefs into iron ore, patting myself on the back for being so Right All The Time.

The discomfort we feel when we are confronted with truths we don't want to accept is very real. Visceral. We (I) don't like the feeling of doubt creeping in - what if everything we have believed to be unassailably true is in fact just something someone once told us, that we never even thought to question?

It is infinitely easier to stick to our guns, close our ears, cover our eyes and three-monkey our way through life. Even if we did dramatically change our minds about something, after carefully listening to a person who we would usually ignore or mock, it is unlikely that we are going to truly transform our general outlook on life. In fact, if we did do a complete moral or cognitive u-turn, our integrity would rightly be called into question.

So how do we open ourselves to new possibilities, without becoming embarrassingly flippant in our attitudes and opinions?

It all comes back to opening our ears, and trying new things, and embracing challenges. 

I am ridiculously excited to have been asked to participate in this year's DotMD festival in Galway in September. To be included in such a jaw-dropping line-up of writers, thinkers and doers is both humbling and ego-boosting at the same time. More importantly for me though, is the opportunity to once again open my ears and eyes to a wider view, a bigger picture, and to experience the thrill that comes from brushing off the cobwebs in the corners of my mind. 

Come along, you'll enjoy it. 

You know I'm right. 

No Surprises

It's the start of a new year, so I'm going to do the thing that all good TV schedulers do, and fill this space with retrospection and predictions. 

I used to make a photo-montage each November, to mark the anniversary of my diagnosis, and share it on Facebook, and cry a little bit at the beauty in my life. But my faith in Zuckerberg has reached the point where I am reluctant to even look at the screen (which has just reminded me to finally cover the camera on my laptop with an airmail sticker - paranoid, me?), so the chances of me presenting him with a neat package of my life story over the past twelve months are slim to none. 

But it was a nice thing to do, to remember all the wonderful giggle-filled moments that we had had, the achievements and milestones, the flow of life through its up and downs.

My children are growing bigger and older.

My house is growing bigger and older.

I am growing older (size remains roughly the same).

My hopes and fears expand diametrically. 


These are things for which I am grateful.

It was a bit cold in the sea on December 31st.....