I don't remember if I did it much before I got cancer, but I certainly can't seem to get away from it now.
I am working hard when I am at work - it is busy season in GPland and there is no way around that.
I am working hard when I am at home - the red carpet on the stairs does not clean itself, it seems.
I am frantically trying to ensure that enough people come to the conference I am organising that it feels like a proper success, not just a job done (I really wish I hadn't watched that Fyre Festival documentary).
There is always a point where my body reacts physically to the mental overload and I think oops I've pushed it too hard this time. Pains in the head, pains in the stomach, pains in the chest. But then they pass, and I find my mind wandering off down the dark alleyways of What Makes You Think You'll Survive When So Many Don't, and I scuttle back to the pandemonium of ordering nametags and counting seats and emailing people I barely know to ask for help. It's safer for my brain to be bursting at the seams with the here and now stuff and ignoring the future altogether.
I like the busy-ness and I am dreading the come-down.
But I would still very much like lots of people to come to my conference!
www.wimin.ie/conference
