Rebel Rebel

Things I'm supposed to do when I'm on chemo:

1. Stay away from potential sources of infection, like crowded areas, snotty children, sick people.
2. Get lots of rest.
3. Take gentle exercise.
4. Keep a "fatigue diary".
5. Soak my fingers in diluted vinegar three times per day.
6. Rinse my mouth out with superconcentrated salty water after every meal.
7. Slather myself in a specific brand of oat-based moisturiser (still haven't taken the time to confirm my suspicion that this product is made by the same BigPharma company that makes the drug that causes the skin trouble in the first place).
8. Take multiple prophylactic medications in case I get any of a long list of icky side effects.
9. Use my own private bathroom to ensure my carcinogenic toxic waste is kept away from the healthy people in my house.

What I have been doing while on chemo:

1. Working. In a GP practice. In winter. No sick or snotty people there then.
2. Travelling on public transport to go to a Franks gig in central London. Infection risk on par with a trip to Sierra Leone.
3. Going to the Ice Kingdom in Hyde Park where it's -8 degrees. Without appropriate Arctic Survival suit.
4. Going to the school Christmas pageant(s). Again, hardly any snotty children there. 
5. Planning the Christmas dinner for 16 people.
6. Giving my new Fitbit plenty of stair-counts.
7. Completely failing to follow the sensible advice about caring for my skin and mouth before they crack/erupt/ulcerate. And then giving out when they do.
8. Stacking up my cupboard with multiple unused medications in a manner which would horrify any Poisons Centre employee.
9. Being lucky to get to use the bathroom without the presence of at last one child, two teddies and a toy train. 

If only I had the time to fill in the fatigue diary....I bet it would tell me I'm wrecked ;-)