Is It Cancer?

There is a show on Netflix called Is It Cake?

It is exceptionally irritating on many, many levels. The host shouts. The guest judges appear to have been drugged and kidnapped. The competitors give Nice But Dim vibes. 

The main premise is that you make a cake look like an everyday object, and put it on a stand next to said everyday object, and see if you can fool the judges into thinking that your cake is, in fact, an actual teapot/basketball/angle grinder. Shouty Host shouts "Is it cake?", and everyone is stunned when it turns out that yes it is. 

The only slight problem is the very loose, very American, use of the word "cake". Each one of them is a hideous melange of UPF ingredients, lit up in horrendous colours and slathered in corn-syrup matter described as "frosting". 

On this show, even the cake is not cake, not really. 

I am on more chemotherapy for cancer for the last four months or so. Except that no one is entirely certain that is definitely cancer. It looks very like it on the scans, but mostly because there are fuzzy spots in funny places in my peritoneum, and I have stage 4 cancer, so the fuzzy spots must be cancer, right? 

The Fuzzy Spot experts were pretty sure, when they had a look. 

The General Cancer in Sarah expert was fairly sure, but accepted that they could just be Fuzzy Spots of Unknown Origin (in medicine, we have a few conditions that we are totally content to entitle Of Unknown Origin, and pat ourselves on the back for our clever use of words). 

I have been very happy to go along with treating the Fuzzy Spots on the assumption they are cancer, because Safe/Sorry/Etc.

Except that, a bit like cake, if you leave it out in the world long enough, you can be pretty sure it would start to change. Soften. Crack. Get mouldy. Get maggoty. Stink. You get the picture.

My Fuzzy Spots look remarkably similar to what they looked like in August. And actually, if you squint a bit, they look quite like how they looked the previous August. 

Even the most additive-filled confectionary is bound to start looking a bit rough around the edges after 18 months. 

So while it looks like cancer and should be cancer, it is not behaving in a very cancery way. 

But if it is not cake - I mean cancer - what is it? 

And can someone please explain to me how I am supposed to get my head around living in a very very long episode of the most irritating show on Netfllix?